If She Cry Out » IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com Voicing the wisdom of survivors of rape and terror Wed, 25 Jan 2012 10:47:56 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 Show Your Tattoo: The Survivor’s Ink Project http://ifshecryout.com/show-your-tattoo-the-survivors-ink-project/ http://ifshecryout.com/show-your-tattoo-the-survivors-ink-project/#comments Mon, 20 Jun 2011 23:18:54 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=1972
Red Hawk tattoo

Red Hawk tattoo

Two of our authors, Elizabeth Grace Frank-Backman and Stephanie Pasquarelli have started a new project called The Survivor’s Ink Project.

The Survivor’s Ink Project is assembling a gallery of tattoos survivors of abuse and violence have gotten to celebrate their lives. The pictures will be posted in an on-line gallery here at If She Cry Out and also on the project’s facebook page.

The project showcases survivors as masters of transformation: turning the darkest of human experiences into lessons of hope, beauty, and power. One survivor’s tattoo reads the same both right side up and upside down as if to say “No reality, however upside down, can take away a survivor’s fundamental nature”.

Other tattoos show a warrior woman rising above rainbows, flowers twining, a hawk soaring, and a spirited horse rearing. Rarely are tattoos the same. No two stories are alike. The essential creativity of being human becomes ever clearer when we rise above the inconceivable and embrace life.

If you are a survivor of abuse or violence of any kind, e-mail us your photo and a brief paragraph explaining why you chose the tattoo and what it means to you. The tattoo can represent celebration of any kind: your journey, life, experiences, struggles, success’, or anything else that symbolizes being a survivor for you.

To submit a tattoo, please send the following to TheSurvivorsInkProject at gmail.com :

  • a photo of your tattoo
  • a paragraph explaining why you chose that tattoo and what it means to you (whatever you feel safe sharing).
  • the name or alias under which you would like to be associated with it – you are welcome to use either an alias or your own name, whatever you feel most comfortable with.
  • the country you live in (so eventually we can do a map of survivor tattoos around the world!)
  • optional: a web address/link that you want associated with your name or alias (blog, facebook,myspace).


If you don’t wish to send a tattoo, you can still support this project by

  • “like”ing the project on facebook: The Survivor’s Ink Project
  • sharing or emailing this post – see the buttons at the bottom of this post
  • telling a survivor you know about this project
  • if you work with survivors, letting your organization and colleagues know about this project
  • if you are a tattoo artist, telling your fellow artists and appropriate clients

]]> http://ifshecryout.com/show-your-tattoo-the-survivors-ink-project/feed/ 0 Terrorism Survivors Tell Their Stories http://ifshecryout.com/terrorism-survivors-tell-their-stories/ http://ifshecryout.com/terrorism-survivors-tell-their-stories/#comments Tue, 07 Jun 2011 05:00:26 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=1864 When a terrorism attack breaks out, the event consumes news channels. Reporters are eager to interview survivors and the general public craves immediate updates on Fox and Sky TV. But weeks, months, and years later the attack is often forgotten to all but the survivors and their closest friends. The plentiful articles and coverage become hard to find on the web and the story disappears. All that is left is a brief description in a list of terrorist attacks on Wikipedia and various advocacy websites and blogs.

Several survivors and videographers are fighting to change that. In the last year a number of documentaries have been released chronically the experience of survivors during the crisis and the years after. These stories cover the impact of terrorism across Asia and the Middle East.

But more than that, they drive home an essential truth known by survivors. Terror does not stop life. When we only see the immediate horror of a terror attack we get a distorted view that minimizes both bad and good. We see the terror, but not the true cost played out over time. We see chaos and loss, but not the reflective processes that lead to insight, courage, and a creative drive to counter horror with justice.

Jordan

Killing in the Name, directed by Jed Rothstein, tells the story of Ashraf al-Khaled who lost 27 members of his wedding party in the November 9, 2005 Amman hotel bombings. One of Rothstein’s goals was to move beyond the tragedy and explore how al-Khaled integrated what happened into his on-going life and work. The documentary was nominated for an Oscar in 2010. For screening information contact the Global Survivors Network.

Pakistan

FIVE , directed by Khurrum Mahmood , tells the story of five Pakistani survivors – screened during the Cannes International Film Festival . The documentary features the experience of five survivors: Waqar Khalid, Sayed Ali Shah, Ifran Malik, Nawab Sheer, and Tahir Malik. Tahir Malik is one of the founders of the Pakistan Terrorism Survivors Network, a group that works to support survivors of the many terrorist attacks within Pakistan. For screening information contact the Global Survivors Network.

“I Witness” records the reflections of people of three different faiths who were survivors of the Decmeber 28, 2009 Karachi Ashura bombing. One survivor concludes that the terrorists have undercut their own methods:

They think they can scare us from death, but they have forgotten that martyrdom is an honour for us. These terror attacks have taken away the fear of death from our hearts. But it doesn’t mean that we don’t cry or we don’t feel grief. It’s actually that we have learned to reply cruelty with our patience. We want to tell the terrorists that great nations can survive in any situation. They keep on living happily.”

The documentary was shown during The London International Documentary Festival (May 13-28, 2011).

India

Beyond Mumbai: Hope and Healing tells the story of the November 26, 2008 Mumbai Bombings through the eyes of several survivors who were on a trip together with Alan and Naomi Scherr. Alen and Naomi Scherr were killed in the bombing. The documentary is in five parts: 1 2 3 4 5

Indonesia

“Prison and Paradise”, directed by Daniel Rudi Haryanto, follows the stories of five Muslim children orphaned by the Bali bombing attack. It demonstrates the irony of religiously motivated terrorism: the terrorist attacks perpetrated in the name of Islam increased the number of orphans, a group which Islam sees as deserving special protection. Not only did the attack leave the children of those murdered without parents. One of the perpetrators had two children that he could not tend to because of being jailed by the attack.

The documentary premiered at the 2010 Dubai International Film Festival. For more information about the film and screenings, see http://prisonandparadise.blogspot.com/.

Israel

“Their eyes were dry” , directed by Brandon Assanti , is a full length film documenting the May 15, 1974 Ma’alot massacre . 22 children and 3 adults were killed when terrorist took hostage a high school in the Galilean town of Ma’alot, Israel. The story of the massacre is told through the eyes of the now adult children who were held hostage. The movie was screened in several theatres across the USA on May 9, 2011. For screening information and stills, see http://www.theireyesweredry.com/.

Organizational sponsorship

“FIVE” and “Killing in the Name” are projects of the Global Survivors Network, a group advocating against terrorism. It was founded by terror attack survivors Ashraf al-Khaled (Amman hotel bombings) and Carie Lemack (9/11) as an outgrowth of their work together on Killing in the Name.

“Beyond Mumbai: Hope and Healing” is a project of Odyssey Networks .

“I Witness” was developed with the help of Pocket Visions Filmaking for Social Change. The project provides young Pakistanki filmakers with the training needd to make their own films.

]]> http://ifshecryout.com/terrorism-survivors-tell-their-stories/feed/ 0 Survivor News on the Web (May 30-June 5, 2011) http://ifshecryout.com/survivor-news-on-the-web-may-30-june-5-2011/ http://ifshecryout.com/survivor-news-on-the-web-may-30-june-5-2011/#comments Mon, 06 Jun 2011 05:00:12 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=1843 Raven overlooking canyon

Credit: Al_HikesAZ @ Flickr.com

We’ve been on hiatus so this week’s roundup will include a few tidbits from earlier in the year and not just the last week.

Survivor artists, writers and activists

Anne Jacoby

Ayanna Nahmias

Beth Fehlbaum

Erin Merryn

  • On February 14, 2011, after many years of advocacy, Erin’s law was signed by the Governor of Illinois. We congratulate her and all who have worked along side of her on their efforts. The law ensures that school aged children will be educated about child sexual abuse prevention. Erin Merryn herself is a survivor of childhood sexual assualt. For her story and future plans,see her website.

Ginger Voight

  • Tells the story of the first time she told her story of stranger rape at age 4 and contrasts that with the reception that Ben Stein gave the Strauss-Kahn story in the American Spectator.

Maria DiBari

Wendy Blight

Survivor founded organizations and projects

First Response Action, started by a group of Peace Corp volunteers who had been raped during their Peace Corp service, works to improve prevention and care for Peace Corp volunteers who have been assulted during their service.

PAVE, started by Angela Rose, survivor of a knife-point abduction at 17. The organization encourages and empowers survivors to work towards the elimination of sexual violence.

Survivors in Action is a project of Alexis A. Moore, a survivor of cyber-stalking. The organization focuses on raising awareness about domestic violence and stalking survivors who fall through the cracks. Recent activities include

Stilletos and Self-Defense is a project of Jennifer Cassetta, a survivor of attempted assault and the 9/11 terrorist attacks. She discusses her motivations for the project. From time to time her blog contains various self defense tips including this interesting set of safety tips for actresses: How to Stay Safe at Auditions.

Where’s Your Line is a project of Nancy Schwartzman, a survivor of rape who made a documentary that included her rapists confession that he raped her. The project examines the meaning of consent and advocates to bring the conviction rate for rape in line with the conviction rate for other crimes. In the past month the blog has had posts on:

In addition Where’s Your Line is partnering with Planned Parenthood and the Mount Sinai School of Medicine Sexual Assault and Violence Intervention program to lead a day long seminar on sex, consent, and intimate partner communication.

]]> http://ifshecryout.com/survivor-news-on-the-web-may-30-june-5-2011/feed/ 0 Survivor News on the Web (May 5-May 11, 2010) http://ifshecryout.com/survivor-news-on-the-web-may-5-may-11-2010/ http://ifshecryout.com/survivor-news-on-the-web-may-5-may-11-2010/#comments Thu, 13 May 2010 13:34:31 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=1685 Raven overlooking canyon

Credit: Al_HikesAZ @ Flickr.com

Survivor Project News

  • Beth Fehlbaum is progressing with her efforts to market a line a young adult novels about survivors of childhood sexual assault and abuse. The first book in the series, Courage in Patience, is now available on Amazon through Marketplace Sellers. The second will be published in October by Westside Books. She has also added a Facebook community page (a.k.a. fan page) to support her marketing efforts.
  • Erin Merryn‘s bill was approved by the Illinois Senate.  The bill must now be approved by the state House of Representatives.  An article on Erin Merryn and her advocacy work was published in Chicago’s Daily Herald.    She has also written a post describing the hearings and the actual vote.
  • Maria Phelps has been working on an amendment to strengthen protections of women whose partners have violated a restraining order. Zebrowski and 8 co-sponsors have introduced bill A. 10736. The bill will prevent a domestic abuser who has violated a restraining order, from being released without seeing a Judge first, or being held for at least 12 hours. The bill was inspired by the case of Isol Cotto who was murdered by her husband when he bailed himself out 2 hours after being jailed for violating a restraining order.

Survivor Milestones

  • Madeleine Flannagan‘s ex-partner, Travis Eugene Burrell,  has been sentenced to 9 years for rape, 6 years for unlawful sexual connection, and 4 years for attempted unlawful sexual connection.  Flannagan attended the sentencing at the request of the two children she had with Burrell and the victim.  The victim was raped after she canceled a date with Burrell and had gone to sleep.  Flannagan says Burrell raped and physically abused her as well, but she never pressed charges.  She closes her post with a thank-you to the victim who spoke up where she could not.
  • Blogger Gayle Force‘s post on Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) has been syndicated on BlogHer.  This is the first time a major site has requested content from her blog.

Survivor requests for Feedback or Action

Note: We provide this list as a service to readers. Inclusion in this list implies neither the endorsement nor participation of If She Cries Out.

  • The Angela Shelton Foundation is trying to raise $25,000 to create a video series of healing techniques.  The project has been included in Pepsi’s list of May “Good Ideas”.  To vote for the project and watch a video describing it, visit their page on the Pepsi Refresh project site.    Voting ends May 31.
  • Maria Phelps is exploring ways to improve improve compensation for domestic violence related medical expenses.   The connection between injuries and domestic violence is often poorly documented and she is working on ways to help hospital personnel screen patients at the time of injury.  She has put together a questionnaire and is requesting feedback from both the medical and survivor point of view.
  • Anne Carolyn Drake is inviting anyone who is in Austin, Texas on June 7 to come to the courthouse steps to support Jacqueline Costadura who is fighting for custody of her daughter.  Costadura pressed charges against her husband for attempted murder and her husband is claiming that the law suit represents an attempt to alienate the daughter from her father.
  • Annie Jacoby is encouraging people to sign a petition urging the NFL to set up a sexual assault awareness program for football players.  The petition was created in response to 3 separate rape allegations lodged against NFL players in less than a year.
  • Jenn Q Public is encouraging people to write letters of  complaint to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the American Board of Pediatrics, and the American Board of Medical Specialties.  The AAP has recently recommended that doctors offer to “nick” female children’s genitals in lieu of full female circumcision.  Jenn Q Public is opposed to any sort of female circumcision.   Postal addresses, email addresses, and a sample letter are available at the Equality Now website.

Art, Literature and Entertainment

Body and Self

  • Beth Fehlbaum recommends a wonderful article about on clothing written by a man to a hypothetical 16-year old girl concerned about the number of older men hitting on her.
  • Ayanna Nahmias argues that child beauty pageants promote false ideas of confidence by teaching young girls that poise comes from how closely a young girl can imitate the sexuality of grown women.  True confidence comes from developing a child’s innate gifts and abilities so that “her external beauty compliments her personality and talent instead of dominating her existence.”

Health and Wholeness

  • Shadowlight discusses the potential impact of UK politics on financing of mental health services (1 2)
  • Ayanna Nahmias discuss the balanced approach American football player Myron Rolle takes to sports and studies and why that is causing problems with his ranking in this years NFL draft picks.  Rolle took a year out of college football to study in the UK as a Rhodes Scholar.
  • Kate1975 provides a long list of tips and links to help those who want to de-clutter their lives.
  • Ivette Attaud offers several suggestions for cost-free relaxation for busy moms.  The suggestions were the result of a conversation that she, Anny Jacoby, and callers had on her weekly radio show.
  • Shadowlight discusses her frustrations with being diagnosed with controversial mental illnesses like Disassociative Identity Disorder (DID) and Orthorexia
  • Reasons You Shouldn’t Fuck Kids writes about how the skepticism faced by child sexual abuse survivors translates into social phobias even in adulthood.
  • Carla Dippel @ Emerging from Broken discusses the meaning of pain and what it says about our own worth.  Dippel is not a trauma survivor but speaks with wisdom that comes from a life long struggle with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

    Pain feels like something is wrong, and if something feels wrong our old belief system tells us that we are wrong. We try to avoid the pain because of this misconception, one we have suffered under for so long…. Pain invites us to look deeper, to look through. It is not telling us that we are wrong, just that something is wrong…. It wasn’t our brokenness that was the problem; the real problem was what caused the brokenness.

  • Just Be Real tells a beautiful story of how grief over a cockroach and a sparrow turned into the realization that even though she did not fight back when she was molested as a child, she was not to blame.

Social Concerns

Crime and Terror: Advocacy, Prevention, and Aftermath

Theology, Religion and Ethics
None this week.

]]> http://ifshecryout.com/survivor-news-on-the-web-may-5-may-11-2010/feed/ 4 Axe the Rape-aXe http://ifshecryout.com/axe-the-rape-axe/ http://ifshecryout.com/axe-the-rape-axe/#comments Wed, 12 May 2010 19:05:28 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=1608 Student Witch (Marcus J Ranum)

Credit: Marcus J Ranum

What if women could arm their vaginas with teeth? Would that prevent rape?

The use of rape to intimidate reared its ugly head again in March when more than 15,000 facebook users signed up as supporters of a Facebook campaign to rape and murder white attendees to the June, 2010 World Cup games.  The page create great concern because it purported to be sponsored by the ANC Youth League. The ANC denounced the page saying that it was against all forms of hate speech.  Facebook shut the page down.

However, the fact that the page garnered so many supporters has many concerned, including the inventor of a device known as the “Rape-aXe“, Sonnet Ehlers. She believes this device will protect women from rape and is trying to raise money to 30,000 free instances of this device during the world cup games.

The Rape-aXe is a sheath inserted in the vagina. Inside the sheaf are small hooks that grab onto a penis or object forced into the vagina. This is supposed to cause the rapist great pain forcing the rapist to withdraw his penis and rush off to the hospital to have the device removed.

The device has raised the ire of Western anti-rape advocates for placing the onus of rape prevention on the victim, however criticism of the device is not merely a matter of  Westerners imposing their standards on others.

When Sonnet Ehlers proposed the Rape-aXe 5 years ago, the device was denounced in South Africa amid much controversy. South Africa has one of the highest per-capita reported sexual assault rates (1.47 in 1000)  and the actual rape is estimated to be as much as 20 times that.  Social changes to reduce rape rates are making slow if any progress.  To Ehlers and many who first hear about the device, it seems like a way to fight back against rape.   At a minimum, she claims it will make attackers easier to identify.  Rape survivor Charlene Smith, a leading anti-rape activist in South Africa, disagrees, arguing that it was based on fundamental misunderstanding of rape and was likely to increase the number of rapes that end in murder or serious physical harm.  When the device was first released, Smith and several other leading South African anti-rape activists asked that the government ban the sale of the device.

The appeal of the device relies on a host of rape myths and unrealistic assumptions about how rapes are carried out and how they are prosecuted afterward:

Claim: It prevents rapes because men will avoid rape once they know some women are wearing the device. Only a few women need to use it. Just the fear that one might be bitten by it will stop attacks.

Claim:It gives women a chance to escape and so shortens the rape and reduces the total damage caused by the rape.

  • NO, because it doesn’t take into account that rapists sometimes restrain or kidnap their victim before penetration. Escape is not an option in those circumstances.
  • NO, because the device can be removed with a stick. Once removed, it can be turned inside out and reinserted into the vagina with hooks facing outward.
  • NO, because a rapist can buy it and wear it inside out.
  • NO, because even if the rapist does not remove the device, its presence removes fighting options from a woman. A rape doesn’t stop until the rapist leaves the scene or she escapes. A woman’s best chance of escape is her ability to adapt her defensive approach to the circumstances. If she judges that the rapist is likely to progress to murder if angered, she has no way to stop the escalation, since she can’t very well remove the device.
  • NO, because it may sometimes make the rapist less able to withdraw his penis due to pain.
  • NO, because it doesn’t sedate and completely disable the rapist.
  • NO, because pain increases adrenalin and adrenalin makes the rapist faster, stronger, and more alert, thus more able to react and prevent escape attempts.
  • NO, because pain increases anger and anger may increase the level of violence or even motivate someone to kill in revenge.
  • NO, because the device only takes hold of a penis during penetration, meaning forced sexual activity has already occurred. The shortening is meaningless because the emotional trauma of forced sexual activity cannot be measured in the number or kind of acts.

Claim: It prevents infection with STDS and AIDS/HIV after rape.

  • NO, penetration isn’t the only AIDS vector during rape. A victim who is beaten or strangled or fights back is liable to have defensive wounds that break the skin and is liable to draw blood from her attacker.   This too can result in AIDS transmission.
  • NO, it encourages anal rape (to avoid the device) and it won’t prevent AIDS due to anal rape.
  • NO, because the barbs used to cause pain can break the skin. Should the sheath tear in any way, the victim will be exposed to both blood and semen.
  • NO, because some rapists wear condoms simply to avoid leaving DNA evidence behind.  In that case, it ruptures the condom and actually increases the possibility of penetration based infection.
  • NO, because rapists who rape only women are no more likely to have HIV/AIDS then men in the general population at large.
  • NO, because condoms don’t prevent contact with genital warts or herpes sores

The method of choice to prevent AIDS/HIV due to rape, is a prophylactic anti-viral combination (PEP) within 72 hours after the rape.  Because of the multiple possibilities for infection, even with this device, one would still need to take this treatment.

Claim: It insures the rapist will be caught and prosecuted because it can’t be taken off without doctor’s help.

  • NO, because black market, no-questioned-asked “doctors” have always existed to help criminals avoid detection, so why wouldn’t that happen here?
  • NO, because the presence of a Rape-aXe on a penis still doesn’t prove rape. The rapist can say she forgot to take it out. If she was drunk, this might be believable. The case comes down to a debate that is all too often resolved in favor of the rapist: can a drunk person give consent? Alternatively, the rapist can say, she simply forgot it was in, and in the passion of the moment forgot to take it out. Thus the failure to remove it becomes the proof of consent rather than the proof of force.
  • NO, because extreme escape and prevention measures don’t necessarily prove non-consent. In Korea, the supreme court threw out a rape conviction even though the woman jumped six stories to escape the rapist. In the USA, a woman jumped out of a car to escape a rapist, and the rapist still wasn’t convicted.
  • NO, because it makes it less likely rather than more that a stranger rapist will be identified.  The gold standard in identifying strangers is DNA from sperm left in the vaginal canal.   The device would prevent any such evidence.
  • NO, because both inside and outside South Africa, most of the impediments to prosecuting rapists are in the follow-up: willingness of a victim to report, quality of the police report and forensic evidence gathering, failure to follow up on rape kits; resources available to prosecutors; cloudy notions of consent held by judges, juries, and sometimes the law itself; – verify.

Some have argued that these concerns are irrelevant. Even if the device is wholly ineffective it gives women peace of mind and so should be allowed.  However, that peace of mind is an illusion. Ineffectiveness should not and cannot be ignored. Advocacy and fund raising for an ineffective device distracts attention and resources from proven rape prevention methods.

Advocating use of an ineffective device, reduces it to a symbol.  But this isn’t any symbol.  This is an invasive symbol that must be inserted into the body.  Not every woman will be willing to use it.  But if it is a symbol, then its absence in a woman’s body is also symbolic.  The last thing women need is to be considered “asking for it” because they failed to wear a device that not only fails to prevent rape, but can in fact endanger the victim.  What would someone do the first time a lawyer claimed that refusing to use the device implied willingness to have sex?  And what about the woman who wears it? If helping a rapist remove one’s jeans implies consent, why wouldn’t removing the Rape-aXe be treated the same way?

Only rapists cause rape and the best way to prevent rape is to get rapists off the streets and change social attitudes that lead to rape in the first place. Rapists in South Africa view rape as a way to prove manhood or a form of male bonding.    Reporting and conviction rates are low.

To protect women from rape, governments must improve police statement taking, clarify the meaning of consent in rape and insure prosecutions lead to reasonable conviction rates and punishment.   To protect women from rape, society must insure that women who are raped have access to immediate and comprehensive health care to treat the ill effects of rape.   To protect women from rape, men must continue their efforts to find and teach each other new non-destructive ways to define manhood.

]]> http://ifshecryout.com/axe-the-rape-axe/feed/ 1 B is for Healing http://ifshecryout.com/b-is-for-healing/ http://ifshecryout.com/b-is-for-healing/#comments Sat, 08 May 2010 18:03:56 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=1572 B is for bone. We need to understand that we are strong like bones, yes breakable, but also incredibly strong, durable, and resilient. At times we can break, but mostly we endure.

I used to feel all uncomfortable and freaked out about bone, about having bones, about having a skeleton inside of me. But bones are intricate, minute little worlds and a skeleton is a recipe for function and possibilities.

After watching the show “Bones” for several seasons I have concluded that there is reason to love bones and to love being made of bones at my core. Living bones are not like skeletons. Living bones are alive, containing, enfolding, protecting, they make it possible for so much that we are capable of. Rarely do we question it or think about it. Bones are courageous. Survivors are like bones.

B is for ball. One of my brothers told me recently a ball is the most popular toy the world over. I told him, I know that. I read that in a book of children’s games and online as well. I showed him a small, tiny bouncing ball I had brought with me to California from Ohio and before that from Minnesota. I told him it is one of my favorite toys as well. I had been bouncing it out in the backyard earlier in the day. The ability to play is so tied up for me in playing with a ball. I have never lost the ability to play. We all need that. B is for ball.

B is for beauty. Survivors need beauty. We need to breathe in beauty, to soak it deep into our skin, to drink it down, to feast our eyes upon it. Survivors need beauty. We need every reason that we can find to have a reason for joy in this world. We need beauty like others need food or water. We need to have a reason to stay here, we need beauty, we need to find love, something to love, something for us to want, something for us to find joy and happiness with, something to make our hearts beat a little bit faster. Beauty is healing and we need all the healing we can find.

This article originally appeared in Kate1975′s Blog; reprinted with permission.

]]> http://ifshecryout.com/b-is-for-healing/feed/ 0 Survivor News on the Web (April 28-May 4, 2010) http://ifshecryout.com/survivor-news-on-the-web-april-28-may-4-2010/ http://ifshecryout.com/survivor-news-on-the-web-april-28-may-4-2010/#comments Fri, 07 May 2010 01:09:28 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=1546 New Survivor Blogs

  • Silence the Lies, Give Voice a Truth has started a blog “to educate readers of some of the misconceptions about rape that are rampant in our societal subconscious.” She was raped when a fellow guest at the birthday party for a friend’s 9 year old daughter offered to walk her home.

Survivor Project News

  • Marj aka Thriver is fullfilling her dream and learning to draw botanical sketches. She showed off a sample of her developing skills here.
  • Erin Merryn who was sexually abused by her cousin at age 11 has been advocating to change the Illinois school code so that children are informed about how to recognize, report and get help for sexual abuse. On April 19, Tom Bivins formally turned her proposed school code ammendments into a bill and asked her to testify You can see the proposed ammendments here. If you live in Illinois and want to support this bill, we encourage you to contact your state senators and representatives.
  • Denise Brown, whose sister, Nicole Brown, was a victim of domestic violence and murder, has founded the Elite Speakers Bureau. The Bureau meets a need for celebrity and nationally recognized speakers on family and sexual violence for corporations and shelters fundraising events.

Upcoming Survivor Events

  • Saturday, May 8 @ 11 am EST. Domestic violence surivors Anne Jacoby and Ivette Attaud will be chatting with callers on blog talk radio about cost free ways moms can unwind and take care of themselves.

Art & Literature

Feminism, Disablism and other -isms

  • Cara @ Feministe.com writes a post in honor of Blogging for Disablism Day. She reflects on the damage caused when we casually use terms that describe mental or medical conditions, for example, calling a post we don’t like “lame” or an illogical idea “crazy”.

Crime and Terror: Advocacy, Prevention and Aftermath

Mental Health/Self-improvement

DID, PTSD, and depression have been on the agenda this week.

Theology, Religion and Ethics

None this week.

Personal stories

Beautiful Dreamer reflects on renewing her friendship with a childhood friend

The resuming of that old connection is like discovering money in an old  forgotten bank account. Every time we hung out together as kids I was investing in that account, depositing riches I would some day–during my nana years–need to withdraw. Suz is a touch of sanity in my often confusing world. …
I know you, her very presence seems to say.
I enjoy you, she might as well say every time her eyes look at me with delight.
I know that when she looks at me with the same expression she must see reflected on my face (a sort of stunned joy), she is seeing my little girl self of decades ago, but also the me who has grown into my adult self. A nana, a stumble-bum, but the me my younger self was in the process of becoming all along.

The Art of Blogging
Gayle Force @ Unnatural Forces weighs in on the debate about anonymity in the blogosphere:

Look, I get really shitty anonymous comments, …But I blame this on misogyny, not anonymity. Anonymity doesn’t make anyone a douchebag. Racism and sexism and all kinds of other things make people douchebags…. Anonymity may allow people to show the symptoms, but it’s never the disease; how could it be a disease when I could not be writing to you without it?

]]> http://ifshecryout.com/survivor-news-on-the-web-april-28-may-4-2010/feed/ 0 The Jack Tweed Rape Trial: Bias or Bad Journalism? http://ifshecryout.com/the-jack-tweed-rape-trial-bias-or-bad-journalism/ http://ifshecryout.com/the-jack-tweed-rape-trial-bias-or-bad-journalism/#comments Wed, 28 Apr 2010 17:04:04 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=1400 On Monday, the highly publicized trial of Jack Tweed ended in acquittal. The rape case attracted wide spread publicity in the UK because the accused was the widower of a popular reality TV show star, Jade Goody. He married Jade Goody one month before her death of cervical cancer on Mother’s Day, 2009.

Given the high publicity of this case we decided this might be a good opportunity to take a good look at how rape is reported. Feminists often accuse the media of biased reporting in rape cases, but is this true? Most journalists try to do their job well. Perhaps rape cases are so much he said/she said that there really is no fair way to report them?

We reviewed the top 9 newspapers in the UK (as measured by readership) for their coverage of a recent rape trial looking at articles dating from the initial arrest in September 2009 to the acquittal on April 26. These included: The Sun, The Daily Mail, The Daily Mirror, The Daily Telegraph, The Daily Star, The Daily Express, The Guardian, The Independent, and The Financial Times. Here is what we found.

Of the top 9 papers, all covered the story except the Financial Times. Of course, they likely had much more important scandals to deal with.

Not a single one of those papers called Jack Tweed an accused rapist or even an alleged rapist – ever. One (the Mirror) even published an opinion piece arguing the case should be ignored until a jury decided it because of the long history of dodgy rape claims against celebrities who were in fact innocent. On the other hand every single on of the top papers that covered the story repeatedly called the woman who reported the rape an “alleged victim”. There were no exceptions, not even for the Daily Telegraph, the Guardian and the Independent, all three of which usually consider themselves miles above the yellow journalism fray.

Perhaps this is because there is no good way to refer to a rape victim when the case turns on whether or not there was consent? No, we can’t explain this bias that way because there are a good many terms one can use to refer to the one who filed the complaint: complainant, woman, teen, student, Crown’s witness, lead witness. The correct and unbiased legal term is “complainant” so why not use it? Is it too technical? No. It is used for non-rape cases. Why make an exception for rape cases?

In the lower tier magazines, “alleged victim” wasn’t the only biased terminology. Three of the top newspapers (The Sun, The Daily Mirror and The Daily Star) used incendary and dismissive terms like “cried rape”, “Jack girl” “Tweed girl“, “slut taunt“, “threesome shame“.

The Daily Mail also used the term, “cried rape” but only in stories about the acquittal. An acquittal is not proof of innocence or false allegations. It merely means that there is at least some nagging doubts. Legally justifying the claim of “cried rape” would require a second trial to prove a deliberate intent to decieve or harm another. Of course, no such thing has happened, but the Daily Mail sees no need to qualify the accusation with “allegedly cried rape”. However, there is no incentive here for care. Since the complainant is anonymous, she can’t sue for slander.

Bias was also evident in editorial decisions about what parts of the trial testimony to include in articles. All of the top papers covering the trial did a fairly thourough job of reporting the defense testimony and the cross examination lead by the defense. The coverage of the prosecutions case was much more haphazard. To get the full picture one needed to read all 8 top newspapers. One gets the impression that the reporters or their editors were just not all that interested in what the Crown had to say to prove its case. Consider but two examples:

The top four papers (The Sun , The Daily Mail, The Daily Mirror, The Daily Star ) all reported the defense’s charge that the complainant made up the rape charge because a friend had called her a “little slut”. The Independent reported the same claim using less loaded language “ashamed”. All told there were at least four points where the Crown or its witnesses rebutted this claim, but not a single paper listed all four points.

The Daily Mail reported that a friend not the complainant first came to the conclusion that the complainant was raped. After her friends had brought her out of the house, a friend testified that the complainant asked: “If someone tries to have sex with you and you say, ‘No’, is that right? Her friends had to explain that what happened to her was not only wrong, but rape. The Sun and The Mirror both have a version of this story but they stop the story at the point where she asks the question. The role of her friends in helping to recognize that a crime had occurred was omitted.

In addition, the Independent reported that the complainant explicitly denied the charge under oath.  The Sun reported that the complaint denied ever having heard “little slut” . The Mirror reported that a friend confirmed under oath that neither she nor her friends had ever said “little slut”. Not a single paper reported all four points of counter evidence.

The defense also tried to prove consensual sex had taken place by claiming that the complaintant said “Yes” when a friend came by while sexual activities were on-going and inquired if she was OK. This charge was reported in the most widely read paper in the UK (The Sun) without challenge. Only two papers, each with only a fraction of the Sun’s circulation reported the reason: The Daily Star (#5 – 20%) and The Independent (#8 – < 10%) . They reported that the complainant had said under oath that Jack Tweed had told her how to answer and she was too afraid to do otherwise.

Sometimes bias also reared its head even when a paper appeared to be even handed. The Daily Mail (#2)’s notion of non-bias could roughly be described as “equal opportunity slam”. In a pair of articles run the day after the acquittal , it summarized the case thusly:

Tweed may not be a rapist, but he is many other things: a violent thug, with two jail sentences under his belt for grievous bodily harm, a lothario of the worst kind, a man frittering his life away boozing in pubs and clubs and indulging in casual sex with vulgar girls desperate for even Z-list celebrity status. It was a cry of rape from such a girl…

The articles viewed both Jack Tweed and the woman he allegedly raped with a great degree of cynicism, however they neglected to consider that Jack Tweed has hard publicly verifiable evidence in favor of his sleeziness and the complainant had at best insinuation.

Jack Tweed has two convictions for criminal assault – 1 on an 16 year old boy that earned him 18 months in jail and one on an adult taxi driver that earned him 12 weeks. Jack Tweed has publicly declared to the press his intention to make money off of this trial. Jack Tweed has not enrolled in university. His own father says he is not interested in working hard. His job, club promoter, leverages the noteriety of his criminal behavior and his marriage to reality TV show star Jane Goody in the last month of her fight with cervical cancer.

To balance the score, it insinuates or directly accuses the complainant of money mongering, glitter mongering, and being a girl without a future. But it neglects to mention counter evidence or point out possible biases in the private individuals making those insinuations.

Unlike Tweed, the young woman has never made a public declaration that she intends to earn money from this. The sole evidence for this insinuation comes from Jack Tweed’s publicity manager who explains the rape charges saying: “he has been a target for girls trying to make money off of him”. It is puzzling why this even deserved mention in a Daily Mail article because successful criminal charges result in jail time for the accused, not money for the victim. Furthermore, the young woman has never waived her anonymity, so one can’t even say she was looking for her hour of fame. The statement is at best illogical and at worst slanderous.

In support of celebrity mongering, it cites a girl who is “one of her circle” who makes a general statement about her belief that girls often cry rape because they are wannabees who have no job and no future:

Do you know how many times girls round here say they’ve been raped?’ says one of her circle. ‘They do it to save face. These girls are just desperate to be famous. They want to have sex with celebrities and footballers. ‘They’re not educated. They don’t want a job or a career. They want to be WAGs and have nice homes and nice cars.

That of course leaves the impression that even her friends are against her. However, it is highly questionable how well this alleged member of her circle actually knows the young woman because the one thing this young woman is not is a woman with no future. She is consistently described as a student and is the daughter of a businessman in Hertfordshire and had enough money to party at a posh club in Mayfair. It also neglects to mention that when the defense accused her of celebrity mongering under oath, she firmly rejected the idea. Good reporting requires representing both sides of the story on the strength of the evidence.

Another disturbing trend was the total lack of background information in any of the articles, even in serious newspapers like the Independent or The Guardian. The closest anyone came to background information was actually the Sun and the Mirror, both of whom spent two short paragraphs on the testimony of Greta Forster who explained how a person could be raped without having defensive wound.

The lack of background information is notable on three accounts. First, it is quite common during major trials to interview experts in domestic abuse and child abuse during major domestic violence and child abuse cases. Second, a recent and well publicized study by the Haven underscored the prevalence of misinformation and acceptance of rape myths amongst Londerers.

Thirdly, assumptions about how rape victims typically act played a crucial role in defense arguments. Many of these assumptions flew in the face of clinical experience with rape survivors, but not a single newspaper presented background information about “typical” victim reactions.

One wonders how informed the reporters and their editors were about rape. Were these junior reprorters who hadn’t yet learned the importance of background information? If so, why didn’t the editors send these articles back? Or ask for a supplemental background article? One also also how active the prosecution itself was in making that the public understood how to assess this case. This case was a media circus. The courts can’t simply turn a blind eye to that.

But it also raises questions about how we effect social change. Does the anti-rape community need to be doing more to raise journalist awareness of these issues? Activism often focuses on high risk groups: teaching risk reduction to potential victims, raising bystander awareness rape supportive attitudes and behaviors, or teaching sexual initiators how to recognize the presence and absense of consent. Perhaps we need to be doing more to befriend and inform jounalists and their editors? Getting journalists themselves to actively raise awareness would have a much broader reach than localized awareness efforts by non-profits and student groups.

]]> http://ifshecryout.com/the-jack-tweed-rape-trial-bias-or-bad-journalism/feed/ 1 The March of the Living Proceeds http://ifshecryout.com/the-march-of-the-living-proceeds/ http://ifshecryout.com/the-march-of-the-living-proceeds/#comments Mon, 12 Apr 2010 13:53:43 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=1234 April 12, 2010



Later today, thirty-seven miles west of Krakow, Poland, ten thousand high school students, representing forty countries, will join adults of all ages and participate in the March of the Living. There, the “marchers” will retrace the steps of the “March of Death,” the actual route which countless numbers of people were forced to take on their way to the gas chambers at Birkenau, the largest concentration camp complex built by the Nazis during World War II. As is tradition, the March begins at the gate of the Auschwitz I site, with its inscription Arbeit macht frei (“work will set you free”), and concludes at the site of the Auschwitz II – Birkenau camp.

The March will go on as planned, despite Saturday’s air tragedy that took the lives of the Polish President, Lech Kaczynski, his wife, Maria Kaczynski, and dozens of the country’s top political and military leaders. Poland has declared a week of mourning and March participants will express their solidarity with the Polish people by observing a moment of silence.

This year, The March marks 65 years since the liberation of the death camps and the end of World War II and will pay special tribute to the memory of the million and a half children who were killed during the war. Additionally, this year’s program will call attention to survivors from different professional and social fields in order to emphasize how the Jewish community has succeeded in rebuilding a new world out of the ashes of the Holocaust.

A delegation from Israel, led by Jewish Agency Chairman Natan Sharansky and former Chief Rabbi Israel Meir Lau, includes both Holocaust survivors and a cross-section of young Israelis, including internationally ranked tennis player Shahar Peer and film and television actor, Ohad Knoller. Black ribbons have been attached to the delegations’ flags as a visible sign of recognizing, and remembering, Saturday’s tragedy.

about: The mission of the March of the Living is to challenge a new generation of Jews with two of the most significant events of Jewish history – the Shoah and the birth of the State of Israel. It is achieved by bringing Jewish teenagers to many of the key places where these events took place, in order to understand the world that was destroyed and how Israel was established. This is intensified by sharing these experiences with Holocaust survivors.

The program strives to create memories, leading to a revitalized commitment to Judaism, Israel and the Jewish People; allowing March’ers to educate their peers about the Holocaust and to fight those who would deny its history, while forging a dynamic link with Israel.

This article originally appeared in eJewishPhilanthropy.com; reprinted with permission.

]]> http://ifshecryout.com/the-march-of-the-living-proceeds/feed/ 0 Site news: Promoting survivor activists http://ifshecryout.com/site-news-promoting-survivor-activists/ http://ifshecryout.com/site-news-promoting-survivor-activists/#comments Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:42:57 +0000 IfSheCryOut http://ifshecryout.com/?p=958 As part of our goal of promoting the work of survivor activists, we have added several new categories to our resource section. These categories show case the work of survivors whose experiences have lead them to create works of art, start social entrepreneurship projects, collect stories of survivors, or write their own.

For more information, please check out our two new resource pages, available in a drop-down list under “Resources” in the If She Cry Out website menubar:

In the future we plan to followup with articles on individual activists, their artistic endeavors and the organizations they have started.

If you are a survivor of violent crime or a terror attack or are managing a project or organization started by one, please let us know what you are doing. For contact information, see the contact page.

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