Do I want Her to see a person full of hate or of confusion and pain…perhaps resentment and distrust?

Is my wish for Her to look upon the face of betrayal and fear…a person with no hope of redemption or healing?

A figure hopeless and broken…defeated beyond measure by the hurts life heaps upon them and their refusal to let go?

Or do I want Her to see a being of hope, love, trust, forgiveness, healing, redemption and beauty?

Although those who have hurt me need to be held accountable, I need to learn how to do so without losing my warmth, love and humanity.

Can I learn that even though people have hurt and betrayed me, I still need to trust?

Not blindly, but with wisdom and understanding tempering my decisions.

Can I learn to forgive in the way in which I’d wish to be forgiven?

Can I learn to accept that people change…even those I have long believed completely evil?

Can I accept apologies from those who betrayed me at the worst possible level and give them permission to grow and change?

Do I have a right to forgiveness, growth, redemption and change if I cannot grant it to another?

Can I find the courage within to stand up to the challenges of life and not let them defeat me?

Can I come to terms with the truth that my choice is to either live life to its fullest or to hold onto hurt, resentment, anger and pain and therefore die…at the very least spiritually if not physically?

Can I come to realize that I cut off a piece of my own soul every time I cut into another’s through a spiteful or careless word or deed?

So I can only come to the conclusion that my question truly is:

When The Goddess looks down on me, do I wish for Her to see Life…or Death?

Brook Hill

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