Pop culture

Who Run the World (Girls), by BeyonceWhen I first heard Beyonce’s new song “Who run the world (Girls)” on the radio, I turned it off halfway through. I was disgusted. Not only did I just feel that the song was bad; too repetitious, annoying, and I really don’t like Beyonce’s voice, but the lyrics were sickening. It seems to be a theme female artists are picking up on in the past year and I definitely do not like the trend they are going in. Many songs by females artists are being written about pseudo female power or even a pseudo dominatrix theme. This is a video following a theme, not creating one.

If you look at the lyrics, the opening segment is repetition that girls run the world. The first verse talks about women being powerful for buying their own drinks in clubs and how good they are at “this”. At the end of the verse she says, “Boy i’m just playing; Come here baby; Hope you still like me; If you hate me; My persuasion can build a nation; Endless power our love we can devour; You’ll do anything for me” This is said at the end of every verse. So even though the verse itself is speaking positive and powerful things about women, she backtracks, asks for permission and forgiveness from the males.

Throughout the video, the imagery channels the lyrics. When she says “Boy I’m just playing; Come here baby” she gets on her knees and crawls under his legs. Continuously throughout the video she is scantily clad and in provocative positions. She talks about running the world through persuasion while she dances seductively.

This video does not demonstrate the real power of a woman, or really any power at all. It represents women being used as a sex object. It represents women being subservient to men, and using how they are viewed as sex objects to ask for forgiveness for attempting to be powerful and independent.

Rihanna’s video “Only Girl” has the same dynamic, but in a more obvious way. She claims to want the power of being the only girl, but throughout the song and video she defines herself by whether or not she is that only girl and has the love from that man.

True power of a woman comes from things that on a basic level are unrelated to sex appeal. True power of a woman comes from being able to set and keep boundaries. A strong woman sees the opposite sex as an equal, not as a lesser or greater force than herself. She has true conviction in her own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and wisdom. Strong women can be college grads or high school grads. They can have their GED or work at a McDonald’s. They can dance at clubs or dance in ballrooms. What they do for a living or their hobbies do not make or break them as a strong woman. It is their internal convictions and their everyday acts that creates the strength.

In contrast to these, consider a very sexual yet truly empowering female video: Lady Gaga’s “Love Game”.  Lady Gaga does a great job at portraying choice, boundaries, respect, and mutual sexuality. The video is equal when it comes to males and females appearance and actions. Gaga both denies and accepts sexual contact. However, it is said in the lyrics and body language of the song that it is sexual contact for sexual contact, not for manipulative or coercive reasons.

I worry about the women in the music industry making video that portray pseudo-dominant women because whether we like it or not, our female youth watch these video’s and they idolize and look up to these women. I think it is important that in order for real change to happen, it has to happen at all levels, even celebrity status.

Although I like the lyrics of Beyonce’s new song, the visual message and the words are at odds in a way that should give us pause for thought.

The visual message equates power with sexuality over and over again. Even as the words praise college graduates and their power, the visual image is a woman on her knees butt up in the air, sexy but submissive. The lyrics say that we have the power of persuasion, but there are no scenes of women talking, writing, or teaching or any other non-sexual form of persuasion.

Finally, consider the closing image. The closing image is not women in charge but women standing at attention offering a salute to the very riot guard which in an earlier frame had attacked them. The men do not offer a salute back. Rule or submission? Is this song about female empowerment? Or an unintentional satire of common notions of female empowerment?

Nineteen century America denied women the vote, but that didn’t stop William Ross Wallace from bolding proclaiming that “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world‘. Simply proclaiming that women have power does not make it so. As Malcolm Harris writes in the Huffington Post:

As a volunteer and supporter of the CARE organization that works tirelessly on behalf of empowering women and girls around the globe, I know firsthand these lyrics simply are not based on fact. Without getting on my soap box, it is a fact that if we don’t collectively do more to assist organizations like CARE, these young girls may never have an opportunity to contribute to society, let alone run the world.

Women need more than words and pep talks to have power. Without action the only difference between Beyonce and Wallace is the presumed source of power. Wallace in the 1850′s credited motherhood. Today it is sex.

Throughout history woman’s sexuality has been granted almost magical power even when real women of their time had little control over their fates. Helen of Troy is credited with starting the Trojan war. Christopher Marlowe (1590) called her the “face that launched a thousand ships”. Yet for all her power, women in ancient Greece were kept cloistered and not allowed to go out on their own. Cleopatra’s beauty supposedly kept her in charge of Egypt for many years, but it needs to be remembered that the Roman world of her time required nearly all women to be under the guardianship of a man: her father, husband or sometimes sibling.

Despite claims to the contrary, the alleged power of sexuality is seriously limited. The exercise of power requires the ability to control access to rewards. Sexuality could be powerful, but only in a world where women have full control of how much access is offered and when.

So long as society continues to believe that any woman that uses her sexual power to entice cannot be raped then sexual power is not true power.  Sexual power cannot control its rewards because society assumes any attempt to create power through sexual interest or limited access is also an open invitation to take it all.

Until we can successfully prosecute the man who rapes a woman in a sexy dress who is belly dancing on the bar half drunk or the boardroom exec wearing a stylish dress with a V-neck practically down to her belly button, sexual power is not going to make women rule the world or even give them equal footing.   It simply makes them loose the right to set any boundaries at all.

When women are regularly tarred and feathered in the media for having dared called rape on a powerful sports hero or banker, it is obvious where the real power lies and it isn’t with the women as women.   From Roman Polanski to Strauss-Kahn even a hint of a woman’s sex appeal makes her into someone that “wanted it” rather than someone from whom it was taken.    Perhaps it would be different if the woman were also a famous director or banker?  One would hope, but we can say for certain that simply being sexy isn’t outranking money or fame any time soon.   Where we place blame in “my word against yours” situations tells us a lot about our real perceptions of power.

In 2003, Samantha Geimer wrote an Op-Ed in the LA Times. In the op-ed piece she discusses the rape and expressed three frustrations with life after rape:

Looking back, there can be no question that he did something awful. It was a terrible thing to do to a young girl. But it was also 25 years ago — 26 years next month. And, honestly, the publicity surrounding it was so traumatic that what he did to me seemed to pale in comparison….

I know there is a price to pay for running. But who wouldn’t think about running when facing a 50-year sentence from a judge who was clearly more interested in his own reputation than a fair judgment or even the well-being of the victim? … My attitude surprises many people. That’s because they didn’t go through it all; they don’t know everything that I know. People don’t understand that the judge went back on his word…..

The one thing that bothers me is that what happened to me in 1977 continues to happen to girls every day, yet people are interested in me because Mr. Polanski is a celebrity. That just never seems right to me. It makes me feel guilty that this attention is directed at me, when there are certainly others out there who could really use it.

Looking back at all the verbage spilled over the Polanski rape case I’m wondering why so little is being written on these questions. We say child rape should be punished strongly because it is so hurtful to victims. But aren’t we also hurting a victim by ignoring her questions? The first rule of compassion is to give what a person needs and not what we want or expect them to need.

Rape and the media. Geimer declares that the media treatment was more traumatic than the rape. Was she merely exaggerating? Should we not take her at her word? She seems to mean it. In October, 2009, shortly after Polanski’s arrest she was back in the news, pleading to be left alone and warning that the media circus that accompanies celebrity rapes discourages victims of celebrities from filing complaints.

Rape media coverage can be brutal, especially when the alleged rapist is a celebrity. Anyone following the shenanigans of Ben Roethlisberger in the US or Jack Tweed in the UK knows this. To see just how brutal, take a look at our in depth review of the trial coverage and scroll down to the description of the Daily Mail’s equal opportunity slam. Or alternative enter “Ben Roethlisberger Andrea McNulty” into google. Even when the coverage isn’t hostile, excessive attention can be very disruptive. She is raising a very important point and she is being ignored.

I’m not the only victim in town. We’ve also largely ignored Geimer’s worry that society marginalizes rape unless there is a celebrity involved. There are other cases that have just as much or more need for attention than hers.

Geimer isn’t the only one whose raised the question. Way back in September, ABC interviewed UCLA law professor Peter Arnella. Why, he asked, would a prosecutor spend so much energy and money going after a one-time offender from 30 years ago when it is cash strapped? The prosecutor brushed it aside as a case where principle matters more than economics: “offenders don’t get to choose their punishment”.

But in this case, do principles really matter more than economics? What is the opportunity cost of pursuing Polansky? How many below-the-poverty-line kids have abusers that aren’t being prosecuted because it would divert resources from the Polanski case? How many prosecutions are only half prepared because there isn’t enough money budgeted for the case? How many local crimes are we going to prevent by spending money on legal sparring with Polanski rather than on locking up that local guy breaking parole by hanging around outside of school playgrounds?

A deal is a deal. Geimer contends that the judge made a promise and then reneged on it. Lies and broken promises by an authority figure are a key element of Geimer’s rape complaint. They are a key element of almost any non-violent rape. Assuming she is telling the truth about a deal, is it any wonder she should react negatively to a judge’s broken promises? Is she being overly sensitive? Or are we minimizing? Can we really afford to treat her concerns about judicial deception lightly?

Is this really about Polanski? If we think the original deal gave too light a sentence, perhaps then we should be asking why the prosecutor made that deal in the first place?

A 90-day sentence for a drug facilitated rape of a minor should make us mad. But we shouldn’t take that anger out on the victim. We should place it where it belongs: on a judge who thought that Polanski deserved no more than a slap on the wrist. The transcript from sentencing reads:

The probation report discloses that although just short of her 14th birthday at the time of the offense, the prosecutrix was a well developed young girl who looked older than her years; and regrettably not unschooled in sexual matters. She has a 17 year old boyfriend, with whom she had sexual intercourse at least twice prior to the offense involved. The probation report further reveals that the prosecutrix was not unfamiliar with the drug quaalude, she having experimented with it as early as her tenth or eleventh year……..However, although the prosecutrix was not an inexperienced and unsophisticated young girl, this of course was not a license to the defendant, a man of the world, in his forties, to engage in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with her

Do you see the hint of “it isn’t rape unless she’s a virgin” ?

A judge who truly understood rape would not care whether Geimer had tried sex or drugs before. The only thing that should have mattered was the gap in their ages. In essence the judge is saying “yeah, it is wrong, but not wrong-wrong. Sure, Polanski shouldn’t have done it, but It isn’t like we are spoiling a pure innocent child. He didn’t introduce her to sex or Quaaludes.” Is it any wonder the judge gave such a light sentence? Isn’t it time the State own up to its own mistakes?

Geimer wants the case closed because a deal is a deal. Polanski wants testimony about the sentencing decisions unsealed so he can prove a deal is a deal. The State wants to keep them sealed. Why? If the State behaved itself, what does it have to fear?

On Monday, the highly publicized trial of Jack Tweed ended in acquittal. The rape case attracted wide spread publicity in the UK because the accused was the widower of a popular reality TV show star, Jade Goody. He married Jade Goody one month before her death of cervical cancer on Mother’s Day, 2009.

Given the high publicity of this case we decided this might be a good opportunity to take a good look at how rape is reported. Feminists often accuse the media of biased reporting in rape cases, but is this true? Most journalists try to do their job well. Perhaps rape cases are so much he said/she said that there really is no fair way to report them?

We reviewed the top 9 newspapers in the UK (as measured by readership) for their coverage of a recent rape trial looking at articles dating from the initial arrest in September 2009 to the acquittal on April 26. These included: The Sun, The Daily Mail, The Daily Mirror, The Daily Telegraph, The Daily Star, The Daily Express, The Guardian, The Independent, and The Financial Times. Here is what we found. More »

Lady GaGa’s Lovegames is sexy even to the point of erotic, but respectful. Touches are gentle and graceful. Male and female eroticism is presented in equal measure. Choice is recognized. In the initial bar scene she holds a scepter keeping suitors at bay despite their clear consumption of alcohol. Subway scene shows her both accepting welcome attention and refusing unwanted attention. This is sex as it should be: chosen, playful, mutual, beautiful, and almost indistinguishable from dance.

Contrast that with Unpredictable by Jamie Foxx. It is also filled with erotic poses, but in an entirely one-sided fashion. Women expose their bodies. Sometimes there are montages of erotic body parts, a breast, a buttock, a pair of lips. They hang off men, pander to men. Men passively enjoy the attention of women or preen their feathers and act cool. They show no flesh. They are never deconstructed into body parts. Though there is no rape, this is rape culture at its finest: eroticism that objectifies women and views them as props for male status. If a woman is reduced to props and body parts, where exactly does choice come into the picture?

The irony? In the UK, the studio refused to release LoveGames as her third single because it was too rude. Australia banned it from TV. No one ever questioned the acceptability of Unpredictable.

Teri Hatcher in a charity triathlon

Teri Hatcher, one of the lead actresses in Desperate Housewives, has been on an empowerment kick since she decided to go to prosecutors with her story of childhood incest. In her latest move, she is partnering with Disney to start a website aimed at empowering women to enjoy life and themselves: www.gethatched.com.

In January, 2002 while helping her mother with a pre-moving day garage sale, Teri read an old newspaper story about an 11 year old girl who committed suicide after having been molested by the same man who had molested Teri more than 30 years early.

Coming forward was not easy. At the time she was out of work and she was afraid that the tabloids would hear about her conversations with the DA and paint her as an ex-star seeking attention. She also carried her own self-blame from her childhood. She pushed herself forward all the same in part to help the 11 year old girl’s grieving family, in part to tie up loose ends in her own story, and in part because she knew that in all the years between her molestation and the girls, he must have had many other victims.

Her testimony convinced the man to plead guilty and he was sentenced to 14 years in jail. Had she not come forward, the molester would have walked free – the only witness in the case was dead.

Two years later, Teri was given a role in a new TV series, Desperate Housewives. Normally, she would have tried to figure out what the director wanted, but this time she simply let her vision of the role develop and acted out of that vision. She won the part despite her initially being far from a first choice candidate. By 2006, the show had become a huge hit and she was no longer an unemployed has-been actress.

With her career on an upswing she decided again to put the truth within her above what she thought others wanted of her. In the April, 2006 issue of Vanity Fair she told the story of her childhood molestation and the 2002 conversations with the DA. Initially she came forward because she was tired of being accepted for only a part of herself. She felt she needed to acceptance for all of who she is. Once again she was surprized by the impact. Within a day, the DAs office had calls from 25 other victims of the same man. In the months following she received thousands of letters from people who had decided to file reports of long lost crimes, just to have their story on record in case their abuser ever became a suspect.

Teri’s experiences have made her sensitive to the need all women have, herself included, for empowerment. In a special edition of Larry King featuring 12 celebrity survivors of childhood sexual abuse, she said

“These experiences that we have in our lives, both personally and professionally, leave us with a choice, a choice to use our experiences to enlighten and empower and change people’s lives and that is a choice that I am getting behind”.

In May, 2006, she published her book “Burnt Toast: And Other Philosophies of Life”. She says wrote the book to empower women to find ways to value themselves without taking away from others. She further explains her purpose:

“My purpose in writing this book was to try to help stop the pattern in women to take less than what they deserve.. I don’t think you have to be molested to be in pain as a woman, to feel like you don’t deserve good things… we are all women who don’t treat ourselves well enough. Women walk around feeling like everything is their fault.”

In 2006 she also appeared along with the Muppets in a PSA sponsored by the Will Rogers foundation, advertising a free brochure to help teens deal with stress. In October 2007 she wrote an article for Newsweek telling her own story. At the end of the article she encourages survivors still feeling shame and self blame to seek help from RAINN, a nationwide referral service for survivors of sexual assault.

In September, 2009 sponsored in part by Disney, she ran a triathlon to raise funds for Children’s Hopsital Los Angeles. She hoped to inspire other moms like herself and followed up the run with two articles in ModernMom.com, one comparing motherhood to running a triathlon and the other reflecting on competition and motivation.

Today Disney is sponsoring Hatcher in quite a bit more than a triathlon.

Once again Ben Roethlisberger is in the news for sexual assault. Nine months ago in July 2009, Andrea McNulty, a mid-level manager with budgetary responsibilities at a hotel in Lake Tahoe, Nevada, filed a lawsuit against the football player. In her lawsuit she alleged that Roethlisberger called her to his room to fix a TV and then forced himself on her. Now at the beginning of March, a college student in Georgia alleged that Roethlisberger cornered her in the bathroom during a VIP party at a local bar and sexually assaulted her.

Roethlisberger’s fans were not too happy about McNulty’s claims in July and they took their wrath out on the accuser. But with this second allegation, the fans are focusing their anger on the alleged rapist, Roethlisberger. Tom Smith at the Bleacher Report wrote: “”I was willing to give Ben the benefit of the doubt after the first allegation, but this second one stinks. At this very least, Ben is a world-class idiot who should lose his sponsors. At worst, he is a sexual predator who should be locked up.” Hampton Stephens in the Atlantic sums it up this way: “When you are the quarterback of that team, your job is to lead. Even assuming Ben is innocent of any wrongdoing … his life outside the stadium is clearly interfering with his ability to lead in it.”

Why the switch? In an interview, CBS legal analyst Jack Ford explains that the March accusation has a higher “index of reliability”. Andrea McNulty never reported the case to the police. When she finally did decide to seek justice she went through the civil courts rather than the criminal court. The college student sought treatment at the hospital and reported the alleged rape immediately after it happened.

It sounds reasonable enough at first glance, but is it? More »

It is a story none of us would ever want to live, from rising media star to crime victim to survivor on a mission. Katie Piper has started a foundation, The Katie Piper Foundation, to advocate for burn victims, but the road to its creation was anything but easy.

In mid March, 2008 media personality and rising model Katie Piper began dating a man she had met through Facebook. He seemed like a wonderful match, and she even called her mother to tell her how happy she was. But two weeks later More »

One of the things that is most wonderful about watching Shakira belly dance is the raw joy. It is the dance of a woman feeling completely safe in her sexuality, able to share its beauty without fear or reprisal or attack. More »