Whether one is a survivor or simply has a passionate vision for change, the first step in turning that vision into reality is to define a set of concrete goals and support them with an action plan.

The following “10 commandments” of goal setting are based on a list provided by Jamie Mintun. Management and motivational literature often like to speak rhetorically so lists of 3, 7 or 10 so this is only one of many such lists. However, Mintun’s list gets high marks for its blend of both emotional and practical aspects of goal setting.

The commentary on each goal reflects a variety of research on psychological and management aspects of goal setting, coupled with insights from survivors who have been the target of cruel or inhuman behavior.

1. Thou shalt be passionate. Follow your heart so you have energy for the long haul. Rape survivor Jamie Mintun writes:
   

   More powerful than any goal you set is the passion you have for what you want, what you do, and who you are. Ever notice that you set goals for the things you don’t want to do, but feel you must do? Yet the activities you absolutely relish somehow get done on their own…

   Too many businesses perish in the absence of the passion that birthed them… you cannot lose sight of what you’re here for. Know what fire burns bright in your chest… the warrior heart that beats for your cause. What do you stand for? What is the beauty you see in the world that you wish to share… and what is the suffering you seek to snuff out?

   Another rape survivor, Hayley Rose Horzepa, writes about the importance of holding onto passion even when it seems impractical:

   You can avoid doing things in the name of practicality for as long as you want… Nothing is easy, but when you are working toward something that you truly want, the end result will likely be more pleasant than if you are doing something because someone told you to “be practical.”

   If you’ve been spending your time on Earth avoiding your passion or what you love in favor of something more practical, you are not only cheating yourself but the world out of your greatness. Many people have sacrificed their deepest desires in the name of practicality, and if this is you, take some advice from Dr. Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

2. Thou shalt be value driven. Values are the intellectual handmaiden of passion. Whereas passion gives us energy, values give us purpose. They provide the “why” behind the passion and connect our passion to the needs of others.

   An effective goal must stay consistent with core values. This includes the core values of everyone affected by the goal: you, those working along side you, anyone contributing resources or moral support, anyone benefiting from your project. Know who benefits from your goals, how they beneift, and why you and they care. If a goal does not have value for you, ditch it. If the goal involves others but does not have value for them, ditch it. The best goals marry our personal vision with the needs of others.

   For yourself , know why you care about those values and what you are willing to pay in order to make them happen. A value is a true value if you are not willing to give up other things for that value.For others, don’t just guess at what others want, ask. If you want to help a particular group of people, ask them what they need most.

   If there are other people doing work similar work to the work you want to do, think long and hard. Is your project adding value that others are not? Will you add more value working on your own or joining with an existing project? Even social vision have a market and it is important to understand the role of your project within the larger market of social services.

   If others are investing money or resources in you, ask them what value they hope to achieve. Are their goals consistent with yours? Do you have a common mission? Can you educate them to bring their goals and values in line with yours? If not, can you work with the tensions and still stay faithful to your own values and goals?

   Know your priorities. Pick a small number of high value goals rather than a long laundry list of things that you think “ought” to happen. Too many goals results in scattered unfocused effort.

   Finally, sometimes values come into conflict. Anticipate conflicts when you can. Know which goals and values matter most if you have to chose or compromise.

3. Thou shalt be realistic. Dream big but think practically about the resources, constraints, and needs required to get from A to B.

   Big visions can be accomplished, but they take strategy and planning. Break down your big vision into smaller achievable steps. Think hard about the relationship between each step. How does the current step goal make the next step goal possible? Identify a strategic staircase that will help you accumulate resources and remove constraints by building on past successes.It is important not to discount the importance of small incremental goals.

   A goal doesn’t have to make a big splash to be worth the effort. As Mike McBride writes (survivor of childhood abuse):

   It’s easy to look at the big picture of our lives, and decide that doing something small won’t really matter…. The more small accomplishments we get under our belts, the more our confidence grows, the more we learn and develop the small skills that will be beneficial for the larger challenges.

   Being successful and accomplishing goals is a learned skill set. You don’t suddenly learn how to make a plan, stick to it, adjust as needed, and reach your goal, overnight. You spend a lifetime learning and refining those skills. Why not start with small goals instead of overwhelming yourself at the start and giving up?

   The term “strategic staircase” is more than management buzz-speak. It was developed by London Business School professor Michael Hays as a way to describe how large companies were able to redirect and grow their business. If large companies with ample resources need to think step wise when they move into new terrority, how much more so, the individual survivor with a creative vision for social change?

4. Thou shalt be detailed. Develop concrete metrics to identify progress towards the goal. If the goal is large identify concrete intermediate accomplishments.

   Vague or overly broad goals will simply lead to frustration. You can’t measure your achievement so you can’t reward yourself. Without tangible results it will become increasingly hard to see the connection between your values and your goals. When goals become disconnected from passion, it is hard to maintain your energy and commitment. You will not be able to stick with things for the long haul.

   So how do you tell if a goal is detailed enough? Like a newspaper report, goals must have a who, what, when, and where. Who will be needed to reach the goal? What actions will take place? When must these actions take place? Where will these actions take place? How will I know when the actions are complete? What event or measurement will tell me this? What will I see, touch, taste or smell when the goal is accomplished? “Send emails to 5 people this coming week” is a concrete goal. “Increase website traffic by 5% by January, 2011″ is a concrete goal. “Reduce violence” is not.

   Together these first four commandments are sometimes summarized in the acronym S.M.A.R.T : Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time Specific. Relavance is another way of saying that goals must be tied to values and passion. Achievable underscores the importance of a realistic understanding of resource needs and the process of obtaining more resources for your vision. Specific, Measurable and Time Specific are three different ways of saying “Thou shalt be detailed”.

5. Thou shalt plan. A plan where realism and detail meet and are turned into action.

   Plans detail the actions needed to implement each step on the staircase that turns vision into reality. They should contain concrete measurable time bound mini-goals. They should list the actions that must be carried out to achieve those goals. They should name the resources needed by those actions and identify the sources for those resources.

   Plans should not be viewed as static entities. Rather they should be under a process of continuous evaluation. Expect the unexpected. Consider risk points and alternate paths should things go wrong. Expect to revise the plan as you go. Executing each step will bring new knowledge and unexpected circumstances. Do not be afraid to change your plan to take new insights and circumstances into account.

6. Thou shalt remain accountable. Put your plan in writing and share it with others. Set aside a regular time to review your plan and assess how well you are sticking to it. Encourage friends to remind you of your plan and help you to stay on track. Identify people who are willing to hold you accountable. Set aside to meet with them and discuss your progress.

   Accountability also means good stewardship. If your project involves the time and resources of others, it is especially important that you honor the purpose of their donations. Keep track of how resources are spent so you can show that you have used them well. When making major decisions involving the resources of others, avoid solo decision making. Even if your project is informal, identify people who are willing to act as a board of advisers to insure major decisions are consistent with the goals of everyone involved.

   Failure to do this can lose trust and damage even the most enthusiastic projects. Don’t let your vision die because you lost the trust of those who have helped you.

7. Thou shalt have fun. Sticking to plan doesn’t have to be dreary. Sometimes there is more than one way to reach the same end. We can’t always have fun at everything, but often we over look the possibilities. Let go and brainstorm: is there a fun and equally successful way to get to the next step? If so, go for it.

   Having fun also means rewarding yourself and those who work along side of you, as you reach each milestone. Without positive reinforcement along the way, it is hard to carry out a big vision to completion. Be proud of the small steps along the way.

   Finally, regardless of outcome, exercise good self-care. Research indicates that those who are exceptionally compassionate towards others tend to score lowest on measures of self care. Make sure you intentionally set aside time for things that relax you and remind you of your zest for life and the people you love most.

8. Thou shalt believe. Trust your plans and your ability to follow through.There is always a bit of hope and stretch in any important goal. If it were not so, then it wouldn’t be a goal. It would be history.

   One device for reinforcing belief is to state the goals in present tense. Instead of “I will do such-and-such within a year”, state “Dec, 2011. We have done such-and-such.”. The stated goal should be include sensory details and facts that prove the goal was accomplished. This includes the anticipated emotional responses of supporters: family, friends, board members, and so on.

   Don’t be deterred by setbacks. Even in the face of major setbacks, be prepared to look beyond the present challenge. Another rape survivor and motivational speaker, Jennifer Botkin Phillips, offers several tips that have helped her to live out the philosophy that “setbacks pave the way for comebacks“.

   Setbacks will happen but they don’t invalidate the goal or your possibility of achieving it. Examine the basis of each setback and self-doubt. If it is based on fact, develop a plan to address the limitation and move around it. If it is based on fear, explore that fear, find its roots, and question the thought processes and beliefs behind it.

9. Thou shalt seek support.Surround yourself with people who believe in you and who will hold you accountable.Do not be afraid to get other people involved.

   A vision can only grow when other people get involved and join you in making it their own.Even more important understand that supporters fall into at least two categories: (i) people who have resources but must be asked (ii) people who share your passion but don’t know what they can give. Be prepared to empower people and not just ask for their help.

10. Thou shalt not give up. Nothing important can be accomplished with a single deed. Be prepared to work over the long haul. Guard your passion and your sense of fun.

    • Reinforce your values and their connection to your goals. Being value driven is an on-going task. Set aside time daily or at least weekly to actively reflect on the values behind your goals. Why are they still important? How are the day to day practical tasks connected to your values?
    • Nuture your creativity. When faced with problems, seek out new ideas, both within and without. Internal means to seek new ideas include meditation and relaxation. External means to seek new ideas include books, articles, and conversation with others. Brainstorm about all the disciplines that might have valuable insights. If you are running an organization: look at materials on management. If you are involved in conscious raising, look at materials on marketing and find out what other organizations are doing to promote their causes. If you are providing meals, learn about new ideas in food service in general and not just non-profit food kitchens. Sometimes new ideas come out of the blue, but just as often they come when someone takes a good idea in one professional field and adapts it to work in another.
    • If you have a faith tradition that supports your goals, reflect on your traditions source texts and discuss your vision with your community. Religious traditions have often spent centuries or more struggling for the very things that you struggle with, but have not given up. Your tradition and faith community can provide both inspiration and a creative source for problem solving.
    • If your task is large set realistic intermediate goals and be sure to reward yourself when you meant them. Without midterm successes it will be far to easy for self-doubt to erode your motivation and passion.
    • Approach setbacks with pragmatism, not despair. Reevaluate your goals, but do not give up on the fact of having a goal. Our vision may change over time, but we must not stop working to convert vision into tangible reality.

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No one wants violence to happen, but how do we get it to stop? How do we stop people inflicting trauma on their fellow human beings? Or is this problem too big? Do we need to just accept that violence happens and focus on picking up the pieces?

There are at least four distinct approaches to reducing or eliminating the impact of violence and human inflicted trauma:

• address the perpetrator: convince the perpetrator not to assault.
• address the victim: give the victim ways to avoid danger.
• address the victim: pick up the pieces after the crime
• address the bystander: empower those who see wrong taking place to make a difference.

There are strong arguments for each approach, but also limitations on the effectiveness of each strategy. In reality we need all four approaches.

Don't be THAT guy

Focusing solely on the would-be assailant cannot be the entire solution to violence. Perpetrators rarely seek out treatment programs on their own. Many attendees need to be forced into treatment by courts. Thus treatment programs only reach the small percentage of offenders who are investigated and successfully prosecuted. Though they may sometimes prevent repeat attacks, they cannot stop the initial pre-capture run of attacks.

Education in some cases might even be counter productive. Although some people are aggressive because society turns the other way, not all are. Some see legal consequences as a challenge rather than a deterrant. Some offenders get emotional satisfaction from their ability to violate rules that the rest of us hold sacred. They may even admire or enjoy cruelty. The Marquis de Sade even argued that cruelty was the higher good “Cruelty is simply the energy in a man civilization has not yet altogether corrupted: therefore it is a virtue not a vice.” (Philosophy in the Bedroom). The more effective we are in saying such-and-such is against our society’s values, the more attractive that crime is.

Focusing on victims is attractive because an assailant can’t commit a crime if he doesn’t have any potential victims in range. Victims are comfortable targets for prevention efforts because activists and victims are on the same team. Would be assailants have to be convinced not to want something they find desirable. Victims don’t want to be victims. Self defense is in a victim’s self interest. Feeling in control reduces anxiety.

But this can’t be the sole prevention tactic either. Perpetrators aren’t just live wires or wet floors that can be avoided with enough care and attention. They are active aggressors looking for targets. Some are impulsive, but others plan carefully. Some will run at the least fight but others will kill at the least sign of resistance. Most importantly, no target, no matter how wiley can escape all hunters. No fighter, no matter how good can win all their fights.

Although the goal may be empowerment and self-defense, focusing on the potential victim can easily move from empowerment to blame. It is all too easy to go from “I can minimize my risk” to “I am responsible for my risk”. By making the victim the center of attention, we may unwittingly imply that the victim is responsible for their own suffering because they didn’t exercise due care, fight hard enough, or fight clever enough. We also place the victim in double jepardy. If she fights too hard and kills or maims her assailant, she may find herself fighting a civil case or even criminal charges of murder or assault.

An alternative victim centric approach to violence is to focus on the aftermath of an attack. If we can’t prevent violence, perhaps we can help people recover and move on after it happens? This is the motivation behind trauma counselling, as well as various victims rights and shelter projects.

Many crimes happen in secluded situations where the only participants are the assailant and the victim. If the perpetrator won’t stop and the victim cannot avoid him or fend him off, then there is little to do but offer compassion in the aftermath.

Speak out; stand up; Stop hate

Finally, a crime does not end with the actual assault. Even if the assault begins and ends in private, the aftermath when a person turns to others for help is sometimes very public, involving friends, community, and law enforcement. Many a victim has sought help after being attacked only to be rebuffed by community that is more concerned about the stain on the attackers reputation than the suffering of the victim, and quicker to blame the victim than to acknowledge that that the attacker made a horrible and self-destructive choice.

Acknowledging the potentially public nature of crime and violence and its aftermath opens up a fourth response to violence and human inflicted trauma: addressing the bystander. Whether a person sees the crime itself, its initial stages or its aftermath, they can play a significant role in reducing the damage caused by a potential attacker.

Some of the things we can do as bystanders in the initial stages of an attack:

• distraction: engaging the would be attacker on an entirely irrelevant matter
• redirection: invite the target to the bathroom or to the bar or to help with a project or any other excuse that lets the potential victim get out of reach of the attacker.
• confrontation: tell the potential attacker that you think their behavior is wrong. This can be done solo or by approaching the would be attacker as a group
• be a role model: model an alternative more positive behavior for peers to follow

If the attack is on-going:

• call for help: the police
• unite with friends to physically intervene

In the aftermath

• Respect the victim’s choices: an assailant takes away choice. You as a bystander can give it back. Offer help but do not impose it.
• Be aware of the resources in your community and provide contact numbers and website addresses.
• Offer to call for help or provide transport
• Listen and just be present. Knowing that another cares can make all the difference.

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Betty Makoni’s mission is to give girls who have been raped the confidence to transform from victims to survivors to leaders. Through her organization, Girl Child Network Worldwide (GCNW), she has built up a small group of girls in a rural school in Zimbabwee into a force of young women spanning three continents: Africa, Europe, and North America.

The video to the left is the first in a four part series on YouTube describing Marconi and her work in Zimbabwe (1 2 3 4). GCNW is modeled on her work in Zimbabwe and accomplishes its mission with a unique blend of peer empowerment, adult role models, cultural tradition, modern human rights philosophy, and social advocacy. The project began in 1998 when Makoni was working as a teacher. She noticed that there were twice as many boys as girls in her classes and girl students often attended irregularly. One day she decided to start asking the girls why this was so and found out that they were carrying the weight of many of Zimbabwe’s social ills: parents who had AIDS, abuse at home, early marriage, or shame and trauma from rape.  Rape of young girls is especially common in Zimbabwee because as many as 1 in 10 men believe that the blood of a virgin with cause them to prosper financially or heal them from AIDS.

Makoni, an English teacher, decided that her job as a teacher required her to educate the entire child and not just the child’s brain. She started meeting separately with the girls in her class and they began to figure out ways to support each other so that they could come to school. The concept spread to other schools and within a year there were 100 groups meeting in schools around Zimbabwe based on the model used with her own original 10 students.

Makoni’s passion had its roots in her own experience. She knows violence first hand. At six, she and her friends were lured into a shop and then raped by the shop keeper. Her mother, fearful of her husbands rage and social stigma for the family and her daughter, told Makoni to keep silent. Three years later she watched her father murder her mother. She managed to stay in school despite all this with the help of some Roman Catholic nuns who arranged to help her continue her education. Two university degrees later she became a teacher.

Makoni feels that she was always meant to be a teacher but the experience of her childhood made her hunger for other roles as well. Her activism allows the teacher and the other roles to come together in a single mission:

Even though I was meant to be a teacher, I always wanted to act like a lawyer seeking justice; I always wanted to act like a policeman knocking on the door of a rapist saying come out to the jail; I always wanted to act like a magistrate who gives a sentence to a man who has raped. I didn’t manage to be the three things I wanted to be. Then I set up an organization called the Girl Child Network where I became an activist. What’s so exciting about what I am doing with all my heart and all my energy is I’ve got the magistrate, I’ve got the police, I’ve got social services all of them pulled together to help the little girl. When a little girl smiles, mission accomplished. I’m not looking for anything more.  (World Vision Report, April 17, 2010)

In 1999, she acquired land and set up the first girl’s empowerment village. The residential villages provide a safe place where a young girl can take refuge or get help after she had been raped. The village provided legal, medical, and emotional support. If the girl does not have money or resources for school, they provide that as well. Successful women come and talk with the girls and they are encouraged to aspire to become teachers, lawyers, doctors, police officers, and business women.

The villages are modelled on a vision of womenhood that blends traditions from Markoni’s own tribe with modern human rights practice. In her own tribe 400 years ago, chieftains reserved positions of power for princesses of royal families.

Markoni also looks beyond the girls themselves to the wider society. She successfully convinced fathers and local male leaders to advocate for equal rights of women in 10 different districts of Zimbabwe. The Zimbabwe branch of GCNW also works to change police practice and rape laws. They have also set up information cafes that coordinate media outreach and provide information about rape and sexual assault to the general population.

In 2008, Makoni was forced to flee Zimbabwe. Her work with rape victims became politicized when some of the girls who sought her help had been raped by powerful political leaders. She is currently living in the UK and is working to expand the program she started in Zimbabwe globally. In an interview with Munashe Gumbonzvanda of TechMasai, she described her vision in a global context.

Makoni observes that gender imbalances exist throughout the world and not just in Africa. Girls need to be represented in technology, polity, and business because without their involvement, girls cannot design solutions to meet their needs. They are limited to using what others have designed for them. Additionally, when gender imbalances exist the world does not work as it should. Women become visible only as victims and beauty objects. The truth worth of women is hidden. She concludes: “Girls have inner strength and power. That is what I want to unleash worldwide.”

Her work is widely respected by adults and children alike. In 2007 she was awarded The World’s Children’s Prize for the Rights of the Child. The prize is awarded on the basis of children around the globe. In 2007, over 5 million children participated in the vote. In 2009, CNN named her one of their top 10 heros.

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• adding one’s photo to a worldwide map showing people who oppose rape as a weapon of war
• raising the public profile of rape as a weapon of war through blogging, letters to the editors, media events, and the like
• writing a letter to local elected officials
• hosting a consciousness raising event

Videos, survivor stories, resource materials, sample letters, NGO activity updates and more are available on the Stop Rape Now! website.
Detailed information and support tools for all of these projects are available on the projects website’s Take Action page.

To raise awareness of the project, the United Nations’ special representative on sexual violence in conflict, Margaret Wallstrom was interviewed on NPR radio. They have also placed two PSA’s on YouTube. The first, displayed with this post is meant to both personalize the story and add celebrity appeal. The second features ordinary people around the globe expressing their opposition to rape as a weapon of war.

The political pressure is surely needed. Margaret Wallstrom still is working in temporary office space. A recent press conference several raised questions about whether or not the UN was dedicating sufficient resources to the problem. During the NPR interview, Wallstrom herself explained that the Congo has had good anti-rape laws on the books for a while. However, the laws remain unimplemented due to the lack of resources. Furthermore, the UN has ongoing problems moving its own anti-sexual abuse initiative from a global mandate to local implementation. At the beginning of May, the BBC reported that 10 Pakistani peace-keepers had raped a 13 year old girl. Her village’s elders lodged a formal complaint several months before the BBC investigation, but no action had been taken and the UN is only now saying it will look into the matter.

Often at the UN issues affecting women are treated as bargaining chips. Recently, Iran was accepted as a member of the UN Commission on the Status of Women (CSW). Iran is one of only a handful of nations that has neither signed or ratified the UN Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women. All other members of the CSW have ratified the treaty. Their uncontested nomination was the result of horse trading to keep them off of the UN Human Rights Commission.

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Sexual assault has been a hot topic in the last twelve months. Ben Roethlisberger twice made the headlines as an alleged assailant. Roman Polanski pitted Hollywood’s social awareness against its tendency to minimize the seriousness of a crime when a much liked and appreciated artist is the perpetrator.

The movie Precious, about a young woman and survivor of incest who wanted to make something of herself against all the odds was nominated for six academy awards and won two. Oprah did a two part series on sexual molesters. There were also several celebrity stories related to sexual assault: Tyler Perry, Mackensie Phillips publicly told their stories of childhood victimization. Katie Piper told the story of her recovery from a horrific rape and acid attack.

The triumph of the determined individual has been the theme of all of the recent survivor stories, both real and fictional. But survivors of sexual assault aren’t just wounded people in search of healing and personal transformation. Sexual assault and its aftermath also makes survivors aware of the many different ways our society can be improved. Here is just a sampling of the ways survivors of sexual assault have used their experiences to identify needs and improve lives of marginalized groups and even society as a whole.

• Natural childbirth. Ricki Lake became interested in natural childbirth after her own experience helped her gain a new appreciation for her body. Because her body issues were rooted in sexual molestation at 6 or 7, she pays special attention to birthing issues of survivors. However, her primary concerns are the interplay of medical politics, economics, and appreciation for this most essentially feminine of experiences – birthing. She has produced a movie, written a book, and set up a on-line community for those interested in natural childbirth.
• Burn victims. Katie Piper’s face and upper body were seriously damaged in an acid attack by a former boyfriend who had raped her only days before. She received ground breaking medical care and is now advocating to insure that burn victims have access to the latest innovations in burn care. For more information on her work, see The Katie Piper Foundation.
• Sex worker health. Former adult film actress Shelly Lubben has been actively lobbying for the California Occupation Health and Safety Administration (Cal/OSHA) to take a more active role in regulating health conditions in the adult film industry in California. Adult film making is legal in California since the California supreme court declared it a form of protected free speech, but health code requirements for adult film workers are regularly ignored by directors and management. Lubben was molested by older children ( a girl and her teen brother) at age 9. During her years working in the sex industry she was also raped several times.
• Throw-away children. Tracy Lords, another ex-adult film actress, made headlines in the 1980′s when the FBI discovered that she was under-aged when she was photographed for Penthouse magazine and at least 20 adult films. She was raped at age 10 by a 16 year old boy whom she considered a father figure and molested by her mother’s boyfriend from age 10-15.   At 15 she ran away. She began working in the porn industry because mainstream employers didn’t believe her fake id and producers and directors in the porn industry didn’t care. She now works as a mainstream actress and volunteers for Children of the Night – a program that takes in throw away children on the streets of Hollywood and gives them shelter until adult hood.
• Music therapy. Shiela E (raped at age 5) and Lynn Mawbry (molested at 12) developed a program using a combination of journaling, song writing, and music making to help children recover from CSA and other forms of abuse.
• Fund raising. The best ideas won’t go far without funding. Pamela Swider was raped in her early 20′s by a person she met briefly at a party. She has been active in feminist issues. She heads Michigan’s Take Back the Night and serves on the board of the national Take Back the Night Foundation. But organization is not enough. Her latest project is Women For Hope, an on-line shopping mall that donates 10% of gross proceeds to a variety of women’s charities.
• Social Critique. Andrea Dworkin leveraged her experiences of rape into a powerful and controversial critique of public and private expectations of sexuality and intercourse. She argued that the rape-like portrayal of sex in the media oppressed and limited the effectiveness of women in society. Her critique moved the debate about porn out of the sphere of religious morality and forever changed the way we talk and think about sex.

Even when survivors focus on personal transformation, survivors often use their own story as a way to better understand the barriers to empowerment and transformation that affect us all. Survivors have carved out a living as inspirational speakers, social workers, psychologists, coalition builders, and academics, each reflecting on a different aspect of what leaves people dis-empowered and under-performing.

Together with Disney, Terri Hatcher is launching a website devoted to female self-appreciation and empowerment. Joyce Meyer is a high profile evangelical preacher who often draws on her own story of childhood incest to encourage others to believe that they still are valuable in God’s eyes. Iyanla Vanzant, founder of the Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Development has made a name for herself as a life coach and make-over guru, including a three year run as a life coach on the TV show Starting Over.

The most well known of of these empowerment activists is Oprah Winfrey. In O Magazine, People magazine and numerous comments on her shows, Oprah has discussed how rape at age 9 took her away Oprah’s sense of self worth and caused her to seek consolation and affirmation in food and tumultuous relationships.

As a small child she believed she was meant to help people (see McCall’s, Aug, 1987, p. 140). It was only by working through the childhood rape that she understood how important it was to affirm and love herself as well. As years have passed she has tried to share her sense of empowerment in any number of ways: through her talk show, through her O Magazine, through her choice of books in her book club, through Oprah’s Network of Angels, and through her For All Woman Registry. She has also turned to education both in the US and South Africa. In the US she has is an active supporter of A Better Chance, program that gives economically disadvantaged children in the USA a chance to attend top secondary schools. In South Africa she founded a well-appointed private school for bright economically disadvantaged girls.

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The exact date varies from city to city and school to school, but each year in the 3rd or 4th week of April, politicians, activists, students, celebrities, military personnel, survivors, and concerned citizens go to work or school wearing a pair of jeans to protest sexual violence and the social attitudes that support it.

Rape and sexual assault are not the only human ills remembered with denim. Each year Lee Jeans sponsors a breast cancer awareness day in May. In India, activists where jeans in December to raise awareness for HIV and AIDS. In September of each year, the Irish Youth Foundation promotes denim day to raise funds for underprivileged Irish youth.

The use of jeans to protest rape and sexual assault has its origins in a 1999 decision of the Italian supreme court.  In February, 1999,  the Italian supreme court overturned the rape conviction of a 45 year old driving instructor because his 17 year old student had been wearing tight jeans at the time of the rape.  The judges argued that the woman had consented because the jeans were tight and could not be removed without the victims cooperation. The effect of intimidation or psychological coercion was not considered.

Italian members of parliament protesting the 1999 court decision that let a rapist go free because his victim was wearing tight jeans.

The decision spawned an outcry in Italy and around the globe. In Italy, several women members of parliament wore jeans to parliamentary sessions. In April of that year, activists in Los Angelos, California (USA) organized the first ever Denim day in solidarity with the women of Italy.

The Italian supreme court eventually overturned its infamous “jeans” decision in 2008. This decision was the final step of a series of court decisions that have gradually undercut the 1999 decision. A summary of these decisions can be found on line in the Colombia Journal of European Law.

Rape never exists in a vacuum. It often forces us to think beyond the specific issue of rape to larger principles. This case was no exception. The deep discrepancy between the Italian court’s endorsement of the “jeans defense” and evolving social mores in Europe and around the globe forced some to re-evaluate the relationship between legal process and social norms. An example of this is Kitty C. Calvita‘s 2001 article published in Law and Society review: Blue jeans, rape, and the ‘de-constitutive’ power of law.

In the USA Denim Day continues to be honored with rape and sexual assault awareness activities. The specific legal decision that inspired it is thankfully part of history, but the need to raise awareness of rape and the role of psychological coercion continues.

Colleges, rape crisis centers, and even military bases in California, Guam, Idaho, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, Nevada, and South Carolina all actively promote Denim Day both on and off line. Two organizations in particular, Support Denim Day and Peace Over Violence are working to make Denim day into a national event.

Although Denim Day began with the protest of Italian parliamentarians, it does not seem to have caught on outside the USA. Perhaps there are efforts on the ground and out of the sight of the web, but so far the only mention of Denim Day for the sake of sexual assault comes from a blogger in in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia who wrote a post promoting Denim Day in 2008.

If you or your organization would like to promote Denim day, please consider visiting either Support Denim Day or Peace Over Violence. Both sites are keeping a registry of Denim Day participants and have a number of programming and promotion ideas.

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It began with a guerrilla art campaign in New York in 1994. Today it is a three part fine art exhibit at the University of Pennsylvania running from February 17 through March 5.

Charles Hall, then a creative director at Chiat Day Advertising, threw himself a 30th birthday party. The next morning he found out that someone had tried to rape one of his guests. In response he designed a stickers with the slogan “This isn’t an invitation to rape me” and plastered them all over New York City.

But it didn’t stop there. He convinced a group of photographers to donate striking black and white photographs and arranged to have them published in mass media publications, among them Der Speigel, Elle, and Playboy. The stickers and ad campaign were eventually donated to Peace Over Violence (formerly the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women). It was used in anti-rape campaigns throughout the state of California. Posters and stickers based on the original ad campaign were also sold at minimal cost to anti-rape organizations across the USA.

Each picture illustrated a different circumstance where people tend to excuse a man’s behavior and see it as “bad sex” rather than rape: marriage, sexy clothes, drunkenness, homelessness, kissing, and so on. The phrase “This is not an invitation to rape me” was included in small red print on each image. A sampling of the images are shown below. The full collection of stickers and images can be seen here.

Ellen Von Unwerth

Mario de Lopez

Tony Ward

Moshe Brahka

Scottish campaign

The campaign went international in 2007 when the government of Scotland asked Charles Hall to adapt the campaign to the UK market. For the revision, Charles worked together with Clifford Graham and Julie Cerise. Full color photographs replaced the original black and white images. On the new color images, the difficult-to-see red slogan was replaced with the same words in yellow framed by a pink tear drop.

The Scottish campaign ran in two phases, in the fall of 2008 and 2009. A website with interactive posters was created. The images were plastered on billboards and bus stops.  The campaign was warmly received by the advertising industry, feminists, and anti-rape activists, and even the Scottish trade unions. However, many of the comments left on the website and non-feminist blogs do raise doubts about how effective the campaign is at changing attitudes. One of the participants in the campaign, a rape survivor who had done voice overs and interviews for a radio and television component to the campaign recently went public with her identity. She protested the offensive comments left on the campaign website and also highlighted the need for additional efforts to change public attitudes.

Fox Exhibit Hall (Daily Pennsylvanian)

The University of Pennsylvania exhibit represents the next stage in the development of this campaign, both in terms of message and art. It attempts to address some of the limitations of earlier versions of the campaign.

To expand the range of artistic voices, students and artists around the globe were invited to contribute. Up until this point the artistic content has been limited by governmental concerns and the limits of popular media. By formulating this as an art exhibit rather than a public service campaign, the relationship between consent and sensuality could be explored in further depth and with greater artistic freedom.  A full list of artists on exhibit can be found here.

The new exhibit has three components: the first part in Fox Hall focuses on the connection between sensuality, relationship, and consent. The second part displayed on campus sidewalks and titled “The Joy of Consent” focuses on the positive value of consent. The third part of the exhibit, titled “I am the Me”, focuses on the variety of victims and potential victims. It includes self-portraits of victims and people who see themselves as potential victims.

Both the UK and US public service campaigns have been criticized for using only professional model-quality white women as potential rape victims. Unless ordinary people are seen as victims, people may not make the connection between their day to day interactions and the campaign message. Thus the first part includes male and non-white artistic models. The third component insures that ordinary people, and not just professional models are included as potential victims.

From "Joy of Consent" (Tony Ward)

A second criticism of the original campaign is its focus on the negative: it teaches what isn’t a yes to sex, but neglects to teach what is a yes to sex. Increasingly anti-rape advocates are feeling that “no means no” needs to be replaced with “only yes means yes”. Hence, the exhibit titled “The Joy of Consent”.

Photos of all three parts of the exhibit can be found on Facebook.

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This year the United Nations has chosen the theme “Equal rights, equal opportunities: Progress for all” for International Women’s Day.

First observed in 1911, International Women’s Day events typically focus on women’s stories and women’s empowerment. In the UK alone more than 160 events have been registered with the International Women’s Day website. They include story-telling, comedy routines, free beauty therapies, lectures, art exhibits, food bazaars, special television programming, charity fund-raisers, film-screenings, poetry readings, conferences, marches, and a discussion in the House of Lords.

Equally diverse activities can be found around the globe. In India, there is a run in Bangalore sponsored by Adidas and free tailoring classes in Lucknow. In Guatemala and Bolivia, two women artists blogging and cycling from Quetzaltenango, Guatemala to Bogota, Columbia to learn more about the lives of women in those countries. The ride will end with an art exhibit in Bogota, Columbia. In Nigeria, a day of advocacy is planned with TV and radio broadcasts, meetings with political and religious leaders, a solidarity march, lectures and an award ceremony.

In the blogosphere, International Women’s Day (IWD) is being observed with blogathons and story collection drives. To participate, visit any one of these sites:

• Gender Across Borders IWD Blogathon is running a blogathon based on the 2010 UN theme of “Equal rights, equal opportunities: Progress for all”
• Bloggers Unite: International Women’s Day
• Reuter’s News Service will be sponsoring a live blogging event
• Indusladies.com is requesting blogs on 10 different development issues, including doweries, sex trafficking, woman’s health, and equity in the workplace.
• The Ubuntu Women’s website is promoting women in technology by collecting stories from women about when they first started using Ubuntu.

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No recent song has captured both the hopes and sorrows of peace of Israel like the song Shir L’shalom (Song for Peace).

This was the song that Yitzak Rabin, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, was singing moments before he was shot to death. The blood stained song sheet is in the Israeli national archives.

Ironically, the song was composed and first performed in 1969 by an Israeli military band. Israel is probably the only country in the world that considers the longing for peace proper material to motivate soldiers but this oddity has a long history in Jewish tradition where war is viewed as grim necessity rather than a sign of power or triumph. According to Jewish tradition, King David was a powerful leader but he had too much blood on his hands to build the temple in Jerusalem. That task was left to a later more peaceful ruler, the wise Solomon.

It may seem strange to talk about a song like Shir L’Shalom in connection with rape. After all rape is a crime involving two individuals. War is a crime between two peoples. And yet…

The relationship between war and peace is not simple. In rape, as in war, we are made to make tough choices: to fight for our lives or freeze and retreat. Individuals and peoples under threat both make hard choices.   For some odd reason we seem to have a double standard: we judge countries for fighting, and people who are raped for not fighting. Why? Why do we judge individuals for freezing, or even for giving the rapist what he wants?

We say that war is collective aggression and rape is private aggression, but how clear are the lines really? An individual soldier, not society, pulls each and every gun trigger in a war. The rapist does the raping, but in many cases, he has a belief that he is entitled to ignore another person’s wishes and even use force. Society tells him that sex is OK unless the woman aggressively stops him. His peers and even the legal system allow him to believe that alcohol or a woman’s dress or a no that isn’t loud enough is somehow carte blanche to do whatever he wants.

Let the sun rise and light up the morning
Prayerful pleading will not restore us
She whose candle was snuffed out and buried in dust
cannot be brought back with a bitter cry.
None can answer us from the well of deepest dark
Neither joy in victory nor songs of praise will be effective.

So let us only sing songs of peace
Don’t whisper a prayer, better to sing a song for peace with a great shout.

Let the sun penetrate through the flowers
Don’t look back, let them go
Look up in hope, and not out through rifle sights,
Sing songs of love, and not of war.
Don’t say “it will come one day, bring us that day”
Because this is not a dream.
Raise a loud cry for peace in all the city squares.

So let us only sing songs of peace
Don’t whisper a prayer, better to sing a song for peace with a great shout.

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